Oh, That’s So Romantic.

I’ve never really considered myself a romantic. I know it might seem strange considering what I write on a regular basis. In life though, I don’t feel all that romantic. Oh, I can recognize a romantic gesture when I see it, or when someone tells me about it. I’ll smile and say ‘aw’ but I don’t get all gooey inside because of it. I don’t know what it is. I’ll admit I’d love to be swept away, like everyone else. I guess it’s because I’ve never really been romanced like that, not like I write about anyway.

I do love to read romance and read different sub-genres of it, everything from plain old romance to action-adventure or fantasy and science fiction. I can appreciate what I read, though often it depends on my mood. I might get a few pages into a novel and toss it down in frustration because my mood just isn’t allowing for romance. Of course, in real life, I’m sure someone could romance me out of un-romantic moods. 😉

It got me thinking this week about what different people might find romantic. Everyone is different. I’m a good example of someone who finds romance in the simplest of gestures. I never understood why grand, expensive gestures were considered romantic. To me, the smallest things touch my heart. A word, a picture, a caress. I love hockey, and I love the Flames, so someone reminding me of a game when I’ve forgotten because my life is going crazy is sweet. I spend most of my time hunched over a computer, so someone drawing me a bath and urging me to relax at the end of the day is very thoughtful. And someone holding my hand or kissing me senseless, for no reason at all, makes me weak in the knees.

I have a friend who told me her husband once brought home a pastry for her, a limited time treat from a local donut shop, because she loved them so much and they’re only available for a month or so at a time. I think that’s a very sweet gesture. I also know someone who’s planning to take his wife to the Bahamas for their wedding anniversary as a surprise. That’s also romantic, if a bit more expensive. 🙂 I’m sure everyone has some tale of romance that’s unique and special. I love to hear those stories, even if I might not find the same thing romantic.

I do wonder sometimes if I’m getting the level of romance right in my stories. In my TAITS series, it’s difficult to add soft, quiet moments between the characters when there are car chases and death threats. 🙂 I like to think I’ve struck a balance in those stories. The romantic moments for those characters are less about being soft and more about conveying a feeling with hot looks and quickies. There’s romance in those things too, don’t get me wrong. 😉

In my “Ice” stories, I have a little more room to really let the sweet romance fly! Those stories focus more on the relationship, so there are no extenuating circumstances to distract them from each other. Well, at least, no car chases and death threats. 🙂 I can get away with simple gestures like flowers delivered in a timely fashion, or a video message on a jumbotron at the hockey arena. OK, I know, that’s not a simple gesture. But it’s romantic, no? In my opinion, what makes a gesture or gift romantic is the thought behind it. If someone tried to put a message on a jumbotron for me, and have the camera on my face for my reaction, I’d be mortified and furious. But that’s just because I can’t stand being the center of attention. And yet, I wrote it into a story and I hope it worked. 🙂

I sometimes wonder if I’m not putting enough romance into my stories. Or the wrong kind of romance. It reminds me of my entry about writing unique and intriguing sex scenes. When the moment gets built up so much, and a couple comes together, it’s difficult sometimes to create the right level of romance.

For example, in “Uncovering the Ice,” the two lead characters went through their relationship a little bit different from the norm. They were antagonistic at first, then sexy, then they finally met and got busy, and finally, they had their first date. Do you know how long I agonized over that date??? I was so worried that I wouldn’t be able to figure out some way for Sean to wow Vanessa that didn’t seem too over the top. In the end, I think I managed to give them a memorable but still realistic first date. I mean, sure, it’s not a date every guy could pull off but he had the lucky advantage of being a hockey player. 🙂

I’m curious what you might find romantic. Did any of my scenarios strike a cord with you? Did you roll your eyes at other moments I’d written? Or does none of what happens in my stories come close to the most romantic thing you’ve ever experienced?

That’s it for this week, I think. I want to take a moment to remind you to head over to Literotica to vote on the Reader’s Choice Awards. I’m up for best Romance of the year and my good friend, PennLady, is up for Most Helpful Editor. I hope you’ll take a moment to cast your vote. The contest ends this coming Friday so every day, and every vote, counts!

I hope you’re all having a lovely weekend – or had, depending on where in the world you are – and as always, take care and happy reading.

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7 Comments

Filed under Free Stories, Writing

7 responses to “Oh, That’s So Romantic.

  1. Lady Falcon

    I love the small gestures the best. I think they imply the person is just doing the romantic stuff without really thinking – it comes natural to them. The grand gestures are lovely and I appreciate the thought but the gestures that are just done without thinking about seem sweeter somehow.

    I think of myself as a strong woman but, I still love to have doors opened for me and chairs held out for me. Or an hat being tipped in greeting. There is nothing wrong with being a gentleman or a lady on occasion even if I’m coming in from working in the garden.

    My husband of 10 years sends me flowers on Valentines Day and our Anniversary. So, those are certainly nice and I enjoy them. The most romantic things I can think of he did was while we were dating. He would make observations about me or get me something small and I could tell he had been paying attention even when I wasn’t speaking. He noticed. That really caught my attention. 🙂

    Then, lol, this may not be for the squeamish…I had been up half the night at my second job as a DJ at a club and we were finally closing things down….my feet were killing me, I had been on them for nearly 24 hours and we still had to walk home about a mile up a long hill. He walked me over to a picnic table, took off my shoes and rubbed my feet…..man I thought I was in heaven. We were in the early stages of dating and hadn’t been intimate yet. I was resting back on my hands with my eyes closed and next thing I know there is a lovely warm heat enveloping my toes. I looked up and he was kissing my toes and sucking on them. I KNOW its not for everyone…lol, but, man it did it for me! No, we didn’t consummate our relationship that night but it certainly sped up the time frame.

    • YES! I forgot all about the simple gentlemanly things like opening a door or holding a chair out, or standing when a woman leaves or approaches the table. I love those things. It’s not anti-feminist or anything, it’s simply a gesture of respect. Good call.
      As for the toes… well, that’s nice. And… I’ve got nothing else. 🙂

      • Lady Falcon

        giggling….I know. I’ve been slightly off all my life. I blame it on being raised as a military brat. You have to be a little weird to enjoy the gypsy lifestyle.

  2. Good points, LadyF. I don’t think there’s any thing “weak” about wanting people who care about you to think about you, and maybe do those little things for you. Especially, of course, when you’re talking about your partner. As Tamara says, it’s about respect as much as anything else. And no, I cannot compete with the toes either.

  3. I have to agree with Lady F and say it’s the simple things that are the most romantic. For as long as I can remember, I’ve been a hopeless romantic, and take joy in everything a partner has given but have noticed that it’s the hand holding or the small and secret glances from across a room that turn me to mush. It’s so intimate and swoon-worthy (if that is even such a word!) that it cancels out the hot hot, give it to me now romance. Or maybe that’s only passion 🙂 Either way, it’s the smaller things that always get noticed more so than the obvious.

    • Lady Falcon

      Oh, Morgan! I forgot about the secret glances and sharing the inside joke with just a look! Oh absolutely that is mush-worthy. Although, I am shallow enough that a nice Scottish or soft Irish accent will do it to me too. (heart palpitations ensuing and in a breathy whisper) Gerard Butler from “P.S. I Love You”. mmmmm giggling…gracious its enough to give a middle age woman a blush. lol
      Oh! And a sexy slow smile….from a guy who knows he is doing it for you with just a smile and he’s ok with it. lol Confidence not arrogance….another yummy thing.

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