I suppose there comes a time in every writer’s career when they find they can’t do what they’re supposed to be doing: writing. I also suppose every writer will deny it for a long time: writer’s block.
Gawd, even via the written word it feels like I’ve admitted to some great failing. I feel like I have been failing my readers for a long time, that I’m failing my peers, and that I’m failing myself. I don’t like feeling this way and if I knew what to do to correct it, I would. For now though, I’m blocked.
It’s not a good feeling. Imagine the last time you ate too much and then tried to sleep when the air conditioning was broken. Or remember the last time you couldn’t find the place for your meeting and your navigation system was down, or your map was torn right in half. That’s how I feel. A little lost, a lot uncomfortable but also very sure that it’ll come back one day.
I’m not saying that I’m not writing at all right now. I posted that short story a few weeks ago and I am getting quite a bit done on my next story in the TAITS series. I’m hoping it’ll get published along with the others and then I can move on the fourth one, and so on. I’m also trudging through my next “Ice” story, which I know so many of you want. I want to get that out eventually.
Eventually. That’s where I am now. I write, a page or two here or there. I say I’ll get something posted eventually. I’ll publish something, eventually. Eventually I won’t feel blocked anymore and the stories will come out like they used to.
Perhaps there’s some external factors at play here, you might think. Maybe I’m dealing with some personal or professional stress that is keeping my creative flow from flowing. Maybe that’s true. Maybe it’s not. Maybe it’s just me and I’m out of good ideas. Maybe the ideas I have for stories aren’t strong enough to see through to the end. Who knows?
I’m not asking for an answer here, I’m just keeping you updated on why I haven’t posted anything significant for some time. That’s not to say that “Raining on Sunday” was insignificant. It’s a story very close to my heart, for many reasons that I will not share today. What I mean is that I haven’t written anything longer, with a plot and conflict and characters you love or hate. I miss the fun process of creating people and places and adventures and romance. It’s that that keeps me coming back to my computer and the half-started files.
I’ve written before on here about how I don’t know what to work on sometimes. Sometimes I want to write something completely different, like a sci-fi or taboo story. Other times, it’s all I can do to focus on anything without over-the-top, sappy romance. Then again, I often wonder if I could write something without romance. Should I even try?
*sigh* Should I even be stressing myself out so much over this?
Well, now that I’ve dumped my mental issues on all of you, how about those Flames? LOL
Don’t worry about me, my friends. I am still writing, in fits and spurts. And like I mentioned above, I have every faith that I’ll be back into the real swing of things. Eventually! GAH!
I hope today’s entry finds you all well and enjoying your weekend. As always, take care and happy reading.