It’s Complicated

I’ve joked in my stories sometimes about the stereotypical differences between men and women. You might remember some of the bits I’ve written about it. Women talk about their feelings and men talk about sweat and sports. 😉 Women require seduction and attention. Men are much more simple creatures. Well, not simple… Oh, you know what I mean.I recently saw this picture/poster that someone had posted on their facebook page and it reminded me of all the differences between men and women. It also made me wonder, are women really guilty of needing so much from their men, while giving next to nothing – or so it is implied – in return? I like to think I’m more giving than that, and I sure hope I don’t write my women that needy. But then again, is it really all that needy?

Let’s break this down:

1. When she pulls away, pull her back.

Well, sure. Unless she’s pissed at you, in which case you’re just as likely to get mauled as hugged in return. 🙂

2. When you see her crying, just hold her and don’t say a word.

Hmm. I sort of agree. At the same time, I’d sure love it if my guy could also make me stop crying. Which he does. He’s awesome that way. 🙂

3. When you see her walking, sneak up and hug her waist from behind.

I like this move. I would think most men in love would. Maybe that’s the trick, isn’t it?

4. When she’s scared, protect her.

Oh yeah. Again, my guy does a great job with this too. Especially at scary movies. 😀

5. When she steals your favorite hoodie, let her wear it.

Not sure I agree with this one. It’s yours. Let her wear it around the house but hey, if you need it to go out, then take it back. Tricky though. Very tricky. You’re kind of on your own with that one.

6. When she says that she loves you, she really does mean it.


7. When she grabs at your hands, hold hers and play with her fingers.

Oh yes. Bit o’ foreplay there, I’d guess. 😉

8. When she tells you a secret, keep it safe and untold.

Uh, doesn’t that go without saying for anyone telling you any secret. Otherwise, why would anyone trust you, right?

9. When she looks at you in your eyes, don’t look away until she does.

I don’t know about that. It’s nice to have the eye contact but if he looks away, it doesn’t necessarily mean bad. Maybe he’s just moving his gaze to other… Parts of you that he likes.

10. She she’s mad, hug her tight and don’t let go.

Well, again, this depends on whether or not she’s mad at you. For my part, if I’m ticked at my guy, I would rather not cuddle. That’s not to say I want to shut him out but sometimes it takes more than a hug to make up for what’s made me mad.

11. When she says she’s OK, don’t believe it.

Or you know, believe it, because I’d like to think most women say what they mean. The word you want to worry about is ‘fine.’ 😉

12. Treat her like she’s all that matters to you.

All right. Can’t really argue with this one. But she should also be doing the same thing.

13. Kiss her in the pouring rain.

Sure. If it’s raining, and you’re close enough to home or somewhere that you can change out of your wet clothes soon. Otherwise you just both end up with a cold. 🙂

14. When she runs up to you crying, the first thing you say is: “Whose butt am I kicking?”

Definitely. SO hot.

All right, looking back, it seems I’m medium-level complicated, judging by this measure. Take a look through the list and let me know if you agree or disagree.

Of course, this is just me, and this is a very narrow look at women’s preferences. And anyway, so many times, you hear stories about women complaining that their guy didn’t get them what they wanted for birthday or Christmas, or didn’t realize they wanted a surprise Valentine’s Day dinner. Or they didn’t know they wanted a back rub or wanted to see that new comedy instead of the action flick. All that goes through my mind is, did you tell him these things? I mean, men aren’t mind readers.

In the end, it makes me feel sorry for men. Women really do expect a lot from their men. We do want someone to stand with us, beside us, supporting us, comforting us, being strong for us when we need it, being soft (you know what I mean, pervs!) when we want it. We want a gentleman and a bad boy, we want a stable figure and a spontaneous man, we want romance and independence and so much more. Poor men. No wonder you have no idea what’s wrong sometimes.

Back to making this fit into my stories, I said above that I hope I don’t write my women as needing all this from their men, without telling them. I like to think I write my women as strong enough characters to speak their minds and not be afraid to tell their men when they need their space. I also try to write them with some flaws and insecurities so the men still feel like they’re needed. 🙂 I’m kidding! What would romance be without the drama anyway?

It’s fun to talk about the differences between men and women, because we are different. Some women do expect their men to know automatically that they need all these different things and some men just know what their women need. Other women aren’t afraid to say what they want and some men need that. I write about all different kinds of people and the differences between us make it easy for me to come up with new and twisted characters all the time!

I suppose, in summary, the average woman just wants a man who will care about them and be committed. Men, I imagine, want the same thing. The trick is to tell each other about it.

Until next time, take care and happy reading!



Filed under Writing

2 responses to “It’s Complicated

  1. I rarely like little things like that poster because they oversimplify things. I think they’re hard on both men and women. As you said, it makes it looks like women only want men to give support with no reciprocation. It also makes women look like emotional doofs who are incapable of articulating just what they need.

    I often think “advice” like this is so wrong, when the advice any person needs in dealing with another is: talk to them and find out what’s going on. That’s easier said than done, of course. Some people are not good at describing their emotions, or they just don’t want to. Some are not good at responding to another person’s needs. But if you care, you can work together to figure it out.

    I’m not sure I ever realized how much these things get under my skin. I guess I’m just lucky — I don’t even want to wear my husband’s hoodie. 🙂

  2. Lady Falcon

    I physically couldn’t wear my husband’s hoody. He is metabolically challenged; the poor man is all skin and bones. It’s j u s t so sad. 😉

    I don’t get that the poster doesn’t imply women are needy or that we don’t give in return. It IS a poster not a book. There is only so much room to write if you want to make the font big enough for most people to read it. I have no doubt there is a companion poster somewhere for the men. If I had more time right now I’d try and create the poster. But I must get to work.

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